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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?